Conflict dating relationships
That fear of being abandoned, when it was realised, painful as it was it felt familiar.
When they weren’t leaving, I started acting up, and then I could convince myself they’d leave anyway.
When I became ill with the immune system sarcoidosis in 2003, I was so distracted by the ‘guy with a girlfriend’ that even though I should have been focusing on my health, I was more interested on focusing on him as my only option! This is how I ended up in a number of half hearted relationships and yawning my way through many dates.
It was only when I ditched him that it occurred to me to start fighting for my survival and opening up my options. I don’t think I’ve admitted this before, but the last chunk of my relationship with the guy with a girlfriend, I think I wanted to win more than I wanted him.
When you start working through the beliefs in your head, you’ll see how much your own internal angst is limiting you.
The pain you’re causing yourself – there’s another, far less painful route if only you’d start considering your options.
Before, I acted like I had no options, not because it was what I intended but because I had limited myself to limited relationships with limited men because I didn’t I was capable of having a normal relationship.
To be fair, it’s not like I had great examples in my childhood, but that aside, I didn’t believe a normal, healthy guy who acts with love, care, trust, and respect, would want to be with – I was kinda prepared for it!
We can sell ourselves short before we even do a damn thing because we’re already selling ourselves short in our head, telling ourselves negative messages, not believing in our capabilities, and believing that the answer to our problems is in someone else.In the past, my friends and family have been more than a little bewildered by some of the guys I’ve dated and looking back with the benefit of hindsight which gives wonderful vision, I can see that I was seriously selling myself short. I didn’t even him anymore and had lost respect for him.The intensity was fading and the memories of the repeated let downs and hurts were prominent in my mind.Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.Whether it's figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.